DeathMeTalSporK (11:30:11 PM): A lot of people are dead to me now, believe it or not.
Professor Murata (11:30:18 PM): I believe it
DeathMeTalSporK (11:30:20 PM): I only hang out with 9 people at most.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:30:24 PM): Everyone else... Fuck 'em.
Professor Murata (11:30:24 PM): I was dead to you on and off for awhile
DeathMeTalSporK (11:30:33 PM): Yeah, mood swings suck.
Professor Murata (11:30:38 PM): ::laughs::
DeathMeTalSporK (11:30:45 PM): I actually got to a point where I kinda wanted to get with you, then logic kicked in.
Professor Murata (11:30:57 PM): ^^;
DeathMeTalSporK (11:30:58 PM): I remembered "Hey! That'll never happen!"
Professor Murata (11:31:01 PM): sorry about that
DeathMeTalSporK (11:31:05 PM): *shrug*
DeathMeTalSporK (11:31:11 PM): It's not your fault I fuck up so badly.
Professor Murata (11:31:32 PM): I've been having this one guy ask me out repeatedly, as hard as that it to believe. O:
DeathMeTalSporK (11:31:40 PM): Yeah, I feel for him.
Professor Murata (11:31:43 PM): sorry
DeathMeTalSporK (11:31:43 PM): You denied me for months.
Professor Murata (11:31:56 PM): but I won't date him. XD
DeathMeTalSporK (11:32:02 PM): Then why'd you date me?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:32:13 PM): This is what I'm trying to figure about this new chick.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:32:18 PM): She hated me a year ago, and now she likes me.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:32:22 PM): Wtf?
Professor Murata (11:32:25 PM): o_o
DeathMeTalSporK (11:32:45 PM): I mean, you denied me so many times, and it even got a near-death experience to get you to finally say "yes"
Professor Murata (11:32:47 PM): because, I was attracted to you, I liked you and I wanted to give dating a chance
Professor Murata (11:32:57 PM): ugh
Professor Murata (11:33:05 PM): that wasn't why I said yes
Professor Murata (11:33:18 PM): you always thought that, didn't you?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:33:34 PM): Well, it is odd that you'd finally go out with me the day I get released from the hospital.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:33:52 PM): All the other times when I was fine and well, you gladly told me no.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:34:08 PM): I mean, you can tell me if it was pity.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:34:12 PM): It's not like we date anymore.
Professor Murata (11:34:56 PM): because I was atttracted to you for quite awhile, and what happened scared me
Professor Murata (11:35:13 PM): what if you died, and you were the one?
Professor Murata (11:35:19 PM): you know?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:35:24 PM): Well... It's not like you loved me.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:35:26 PM): So I'm not.
Professor Murata (11:35:29 PM): I was (and still am) young
Professor Murata (11:35:33 PM): I know
Professor Murata (11:35:40 PM): it was a what if
DeathMeTalSporK (11:35:43 PM): That did bother me though.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:35:49 PM): All those months... And you didn't love me.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:36:07 PM): You can't deny that, the survey you took was un-biased.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:36:15 PM): You didn't change it until I said something.
Professor Murata (11:36:19 PM): I honestly don't know if I know what that kind of love is like
Professor Murata (11:36:41 PM): So, I can't lie
DeathMeTalSporK (11:36:41 PM): Oh well.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:36:46 PM): Six months wasted.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:36:47 PM): Haha.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:36:53 PM): I wish you would've told me the first week.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:36:59 PM): Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
Professor Murata (11:37:03 PM): um...I dn't think love is instant?
Professor Murata (11:37:07 PM): *don't
DeathMeTalSporK (11:37:14 PM): Apparently six months isn't long enough either.
Professor Murata (11:37:15 PM): trouble? how was it troubl?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:37:17 PM): Why'd you stay with me so long?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:37:26 PM): If you didn't love me, wtf?
Professor Murata (11:37:27 PM): I cared for you
Professor Murata (11:37:31 PM): the hell?
Professor Murata (11:37:36 PM): love is instant
Professor Murata (11:37:40 PM): I cared about you
Professor Murata (11:37:42 PM): ALOT
DeathMeTalSporK (11:37:49 PM): But you were never in love.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:37:56 PM): Caring and love are two different things.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:38:13 PM): I care about most people, but I only love a few.
Professor Murata (11:38:43 PM): did you love me?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:38:44 PM): ...*sigh*
Professor Murata (11:38:46 PM): honestly?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:38:49 PM): I did.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:39:04 PM): You and Jaime are the only two people I've felt that way about.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:39:09 PM): You moreso than her.
Professor Murata (11:39:12 PM): I told you, I don't know what that kind of love is like
DeathMeTalSporK (11:39:15 PM): But that was just fuckin' stupid of me.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:39:29 PM): Man... I'm dumb.
Professor Murata (11:39:30 PM): I'm sorry, I really am
Professor Murata (11:39:31 PM): no
Professor Murata (11:39:33 PM): you're not
DeathMeTalSporK (11:39:49 PM): I dated you for 6 months and you didn't love me. How is that anywhere close to intelligent?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:40:12 PM): If I knew you didn't love me in the first two months, I would've left you alone.
Professor Murata (11:40:16 PM): how intelligent of -me- was it to date someone I didn't love?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:40:31 PM): That's your own damned fault.
Professor Murata (11:40:34 PM): it is
DeathMeTalSporK (11:40:37 PM): you could've ended it at any time.
Professor Murata (11:40:42 PM): I could have
DeathMeTalSporK (11:40:43 PM): But you kept me stringing along.
Professor Murata (11:40:46 PM): but I had no idea how
DeathMeTalSporK (11:40:47 PM): And I don't understand why.
Professor Murata (11:40:55 PM): I was scared of hurting you and you resenting me
DeathMeTalSporK (11:40:58 PM): That's six fucking months I'll never get back.
Professor Murata (11:41:05 PM): I didn't want that
DeathMeTalSporK (11:41:05 PM): And for what?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:41:07 PM): Nothing.
Professor Murata (11:41:36 PM): well I'm sorry about your six months
DeathMeTalSporK (11:41:41 PM): I'm just going to leave you alone. I don't really have any reason to associate with you. So the best thing would be for me to forget about it.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:41:43 PM): Bye.
Professor Murata (11:41:48 PM): I'm sorry
Professor Murata (11:41:49 PM): bye
Professor Murata (11:41:56 PM): take care of yourself
Professor Murata (11:41:57 PM): please
DeathMeTalSporK (11:42:04 PM): What do you care?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:42:14 PM): You don't fucking care about me at all.
Professor Murata (11:42:16 PM): because I still thought of you as a friend.
Professor Murata (11:42:20 PM): how do I not?
DeathMeTalSporK (11:42:23 PM): You dated me for NO REASON and wasted my life.
Professor Murata (11:42:34 PM): I WAS YOUNG AND I LIKED YOU
Professor Murata (11:42:37 PM): YOU ASKED ME OUT
Professor Murata (11:42:40 PM): I said yes
DeathMeTalSporK (11:42:48 PM): I asked you out for months.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:42:50 PM): Fucking months.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:43:07 PM): And it took me nearly dying for you to say yes.
Professor Murata (11:43:11 PM): and I said no then because I wasn't ready to go into that kind of thing
DeathMeTalSporK (11:43:11 PM): What the fuck am I supposed to think?
Professor Murata (11:43:14 PM): I didn't understand it
Professor Murata (11:43:18 PM): I still don't
Professor Murata (11:43:21 PM): I don't know!
DeathMeTalSporK (11:43:29 PM): Just... Don't talk to me.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:43:31 PM): Leave me alone.
DeathMeTalSporK (11:43:34 PM): Please.
Professor Murata (11:43:36 PM): okay
DeathMeTalSporK signed off at 11:43:41 PM.
I wish it wasn't so late.
I wish I wasn't such a horrid person.
I'm gonna go to bed now.